You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
