Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
