He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He shit in the fireplace
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
