Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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