You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
