Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
