Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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