we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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