Do you still have your period?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
