Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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