Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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