You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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