people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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