I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
