How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
