Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
