I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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