I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
