I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
