you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
