The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Your penis caused this!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
