taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
