her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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