He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
