and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
