belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
