if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
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you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
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The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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