I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
