Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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