tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize