I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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