Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
