what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
