Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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