bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
