i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
