Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
