What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize