Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
