soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize