And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
