shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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