One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize