I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
