Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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