my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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