Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize