i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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