scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
