do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
