dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
