I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
