The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
