With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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