your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
