you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
