my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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