You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
