Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
