My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
