i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
