His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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