I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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